Calling all super (s)heroes!

by Ernestine Numan

Back in high school, my friends and I came up with a name for our group: The Sheroes. Even though I often laugh at the name, part of me also realizes the name is actually quite fitting. I think we mothers should call ourselves “Sheroes” more often! As a mother, you really are nothing less than a hero.

I realized this once again when, when for the second time in her young life, I had to take my 3 year old into the operating room, and handing her over to the medical staff that would be administering a scary and nasty smelling anesthesia.
At the time it was a small procedure, the one that followed was incredibly intense.
Making me realize, once again, how helpless and intense it is for parents to stand by their frightened & overwhelmed child during these heart wrenching moments.

Holding space for your children

In moments like these, you need to be fully present as a parent. You need to be truly grounded in your presence to offer the safe space that your child needs.
When you are fully aware of your own thoughts, emotions and physical response to the situation, you can try to accept them. Even though it might not feel pleasant, giving them space to be.

It is only then that you can truly be the open, warm, safe space that allows your child to completely be themselves. And allow them to accept and process the challenging situation ahead of them.

Holding space for yourself and each other

While waiting for my daughter, I heard another parent next to me try and comfort her post-operative sad & angry little girl that she should stop being angry otherwise she wouldn’t be able to go home. Though I truly empathize with the parent, knowing that they are trying to cope and make the best of the situation, it also broke my heart at the same time. I heard that she was overwhelmed by emotion and that what she really needed was space and love herself, just as much as her daughter. I know all too well that your mother heart breaks in moments like these.

So let’s help each other. Let’s help each other in creating a safe space for all kinds of
emotions to be felt. Let’s support each other in recovering after an intense experience. Just like your child, you too need to recover. You too are hurt. And you too may rest, process and heal. Even when feeling a lot of anger at first.

This might be a tough one especially for women who have been taught for centuries to block emotions such as anger. But blocking our emotions isn’t healthy. Fortunately, we can create more and more emotional balance by acknowledging and allowing all of our thoughts, emotions and sensations.

Can we allow ourselves to be fully human and find support in our connection in every situation? And together for better and for worse? Then we can see the light to guide us in each other’s eyes: Namaste.

Are you facing difficulty in giving space to painful emotions?
You may contact me for a guided meditation called ‘meditation for difficult moments’.
I’ll come and stand next to you for as long as you need. You can do this, Sheroe!


Read more about Ernestine here.

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