One of the bravest decisions in life is trying to conceive after experiencing the loss of a child, whether during pregnancy or birth. While there is power invested in bravery, nothing can truly prepare you for the impact this has.
The emotions surrounding a new pregnancy are quite astounding, particularly so when experiencing one after loss. This particular transition may cause all sort of feelings and may hit you at the level of your soul. While some may truly feel on cloud nine and full of hope, others may feel a certain kind of numbness, panic or fear .
Regardless of what you feel, all these various emotions are valid and important. They tell you where you need healing in body, mind and soul and with it, prepare you for this new pregnancy.
As a Doula, I often find myself supporting the emotional and spiritual journey of the woman as she prepares for conception after loss.
Below, please find 5 steps that may help you through this major transition.
The thought of trying for a new baby after miscarriage or stillbirth often times happens in an unguarded moment. Or it could be that your doctor addresses the medical side of a new pregnancy with you. Aside from looking at the physical recovery, I would like to invite you to take a close look
Besides looking at the physical recovery, I invite you to look at the emotional recovery process as well. Take time to really tune in: What does your heart need to heal? What is your womb craving?
If you feel you are fully nourished and ready to try again, have a little ceremony in light of conception. Light a candle. Create a comfortable space and tune into a conversation you’re your womb. Tell her about your vision to carry a baby to term.
Use the creative energy stored here to envision womb-wonderland. How do you visualize this magical, safe home for your baby to grow in? Energy flows where attention goes! Make it as light, positive and secure as you can. Carry and guard this image within your heart and take comfort.
Conception after loss can be a good time to set intentions. Being able to call your baby earth-side, is truly remarkable and powerful feminine trade.
When putting your emotions & intentions into words, it makes experiencing the energy that comes with it easier to receive.
From choosing to visually describe your hopeful journey, to writing it down as a prayer, do whatever feel comfortable and right to you.
You may find inspiration in the examples below:
I welcome my body as a loving home for my baby and me.
I allow this miracle to happen.
I give myself permission to a full term pregnancy.
I know that my baby will find his/her way to me.
I am pregnant and will carry this baby to term.
I trust in my capacity to be a good mother.
This is an exercise that will help guide you through times of doubt, inner struggle and fear.
Your bodily memory has stored an incredible loss and another pregnancy may trigger hidden emotions to arise.
Instead of fighting them, let them come to you as waves while you simultaneously envision and focus on holding space for conception. One of the ideas is to create a journal for your (future) baby. Light a candle and surround yourself with sweet, calming scents such as lavender and proceed to share your love and emotions by writing them in the journal. Energetically speaking to your baby, you are already mothering your baby and triggering all the emotions that come along with it. Be honest, present and open, and show your true self. Conception has everything to do with motherhood. By being open, you are becoming a vessel open to motherhood.
This one can require a bit more effort on your part. You may be fearful and feeling a loss of control.
Despite feeling lost, try to find way to trust the journey you are on. Accept and embrace the path you are currently on and trust in the divine powers of Mother Nature.
When pains of our past arise within us, we tend to question everything we are facing, even our own capacity. These moments call for major grounding. Connect to your body, legs and feet. Connect with your womb, get to a place within you where you view your body as a temple.
Simple exercises such as walking barefoot, yoga, longs walks in the woods may help you to achieve this.
Staying grounded during pregnancy is crucial as well, by incorporating these exercises you are already creating the trust you need to maintain during the transition into motherhood.
Saying Yes to the creation of life
Pregnancy is a beautiful symbol of forces of life. A time when fertility, surrender and renewal all come together. Saying ‘yes’ to conception means letting go of barriers in order for the creation of life to come into its full glory; the magic of new life growing within you.
In order to fully focus on this wonderful transition, focus on your breathing, devotion, trust and apply relaxation techniques. The more you surround with positive creativity, the less your focus will be on the actual journey to become pregnant. The more relaxed you are, the easier the energy can flow there where needed.
Take it one day at a time and remember to fully believe the words:“Today I am pregnant and I celebrate every second of it”
May love, trust and hope ground you on your journey to Motherhood. Many blessings.
Want to know more how to holistically prepare yourself to conceive. Read more or join our online Conscious Conception Program