MotherHOOD, mother of the hood, the clan. The person who connects individuals within a group. The woman figure who symbolizes nourishment, care, security, love and support.
When I became a mother through Fitz, 7 years ago, I expected to give him these Mother qualities straight away. I felt like I failure when I struggled with Motherhood. Why couldn’t I be the caring mom for Fitz, just like my mom was for me? Of course, I loved him, but at the same time I felt insecure, guilty and sad the first couple of years of Motherhood.
It took me several years of self-discovery to realize I wasn’t connected with my heart or inner voice. Somewhere along the (busy) way I lost it.
Losing myself in life
The years before I gave birth to Fitz, I was living the busy life. This living in the fast lane wasn’t sustainable for my body and soul, I think I was already burnt out during my pregnancy. The world felt like an overload of information and I was completely lost. In trying to survive, I shut myself completely down, turned off my senses. I didn’t want to smell, hear, feel, do or taste more then I already did. I felt empty, tired, restless and very alone: I burnt myself out completely.
Luckily I was very persistent and curious to investigate other aspects of recovering from a burn out: I walked the spiritual path and with each step forward, I connected more and more with my little boy, my faith in my ability and skills as a mother grew.
Stepping into motherhood
Fast Forward to 2018, the year when Louie made me a mom of two boys. Sure, the first year with a newborn is challenging, but I am not scared of myself anymore, I feel a sense of security. I know I do my best to nourish, love and support the boys. I connect with myself, so I can connect to my kids and feel their needs, it makes me calm.
Before I share my 3 this- is-how-I-connect tips I would like to share this quote with you.
“Stepping into motherhood can be one of the most healing, freeing, self-realizing, higher-level experiences of your entire life. It’s the ultimate service.” – Sophie Jaffe
We tend to be hard on ourselves, want to do everything perfect. But what if you see Motherhood as a big adventure? You can grow in it. Of course you make mistakes. That’s part of the adventure. YOUR adventure, don’t compare your journey with someone else’s.
3 ways to connect
- Get to know yourself
We have the tendency to distract ourselves with things to keep our mind busy: addictions, family issues, busy at work, relationship drama’s: All things outside of ourselves we can project on, to be afraid to connect with who we truly are (cause maybe this person is very worthy of it all!). If you don’t want to know yourself, you will seek excuses to avoid stillness. You will prefer bootcamp and Netflix, tell yourself you don’t have time for yoga or meditation. Don’t wait till a crisis situation occurs. Go to the nearest yoga class, eat more veggies and leave blank space in your agenda: time to just be, do nothing and reconnect with what you like, love and prefer!
- Make yourself a priority
Once you know yourself and know what you like, love and prefer, you can start manifesting these things into your life: you can start connecting with your sense of worth. That means that you don’t longer feel guilty about making time for yourself or you don’t have to make yourself smaller then you are, you’re not less important than the kids or your partner. Start making time for yourself to fill your cup so you can share what’s inside your cup with your loved ones. Communicate with your partner: find that little gaps where you can have you- time to do ANYthing that connects you to your heart, spirit, fire… (whatever you need). Make it a personal one, maybe you really don’t like yoga, but love walking in nature or drink a coffee at your favorite coffee spot (take your journal and not your telephone with you J).
- Make it small
As a business owner and mother of 2 kids, I smile at myself in the mirror, every night before going to bed, I read Fitz a story in his bed, when I shower I feel the warmth of the water on my body, I do a couple of stretches when I brush my teeth, I leave my phone on a place far away with the noise turned off when I play with Louie, I touch my partner, I put one hand on my heart before I go to sleep. When I have more time, I try to do a YouTube yoga video, journal, meditate with crystals in my hands or just be quiet and stare at the fire of a candle.
Overall, the above tips are to enhance your YIN energy, your feminine-do-less-feel-more side.
Hanneke, founder of Rock Your World also created a beautiful connect candle filled with crystals that comes with beautiful insight cards to connect again with the energy within. This candle has a special connection to Motherheart and if you buy it she will share €2,5 to the beautiful work of Because We Carry. You can find this candle at: www.rockyourworld.nl