Birthing from within – Trusting your own feminine power

by Wendy van der Zijden

As a mother I have experienced vulnerability during pregnancy and fears that were triggered. I was happy to be living in Ibiza and being there alone with my partner gave me the time to reconnect with my feminine power. Trusting my womb instincts, nature, and my baby was a beautiful journey that led me to the magical home-birth I had on our mountain.

After giving birth to Luna the mother and doula in me were born too. I heard and read so many negative birth stories around me that I became so inspired to come back to the Netherlands and contribute to change the way women view birth.

“Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers – strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.”

Trust yourself

After being a doula in Amsterdam for a few years I have seen, attended and observed the way women birth in a medical setting, at home and in birth centers. It became my mission in this life to empower pregnant women and remind them of their inner strenghth. We are powerhouses of creation! If we would only trust ourselves more…

Fear based birthing

The opposite of trust is fear. I see that fear is very present in the life of many pregnant women. It deprives a woman of the possibility to meet an inner strength she has never experienced before. The rates of hospital births and pain relief are sky high. To give you an idea: in 1960 more than 70% women had a home birth. Now this is reduced to only 12,7%. Out of all women who gave birth, 21,7% chose to have an epidural. For me this concludes that giving birth has become rather something to fear instead of looking forward too.

Of course it’s not only the women to ‘blame’. Many healthcare providers began to exclude all possible risks around childbirth, even being very preventive.

Reconnect with your feminine energy

I think that being pregnant should be one’s biggest priority. There is no bigger investment in your family’s happiness than accepting this invitation to grow together. Now a days it’s more ‘a one girls’ show where I see women desperately longing for more intimate relationships. With their partner, but also with other women.

How can we reconnect? I made a short 6-step list, you can of course adjust to your needs and wishes.

Step 1: Birth / women tribe

I would start by finding a birth team that trust you, see you, take time for you, support you and live life by trusting instead of fearing. Ask yourself the question: ‘What do I need’? If you were to plan your wedding you would only choose to work with the best possible wedding planner, not just the one around the corner. Please, choose your birth-team carefully. They are the biggest milestone in this life changing experience. Oh and: take your partner to every visit. You will love it, and he will love it too. Feeling your partner as ‘a rock’ where you can lean on is so incredibly precious.

Surround yourself with inspiring women. There are beautiful (mother / women) circles in Amsterdam and they are slowly growing everywhere around the world,  that will nourish your soul.

Step 2: Create time

It’s beautiful to create more time to work less if you can. Being pregnant is such a beautiful experience! Make time to go out in nature, do yoga, go on a nice art course that you always wanted to do. Pregnancy really stimulates your creative capacities. It’s a very good to express your creativity. Creation in any form is amazing during this journey.

Step 3: Slow. Down.

So Step 2 was to create time. Now that you have some more time; it’s wise not to fill your agenda with lunch dates and other to-do’s. Please, get bored. Find peace in being silent. You will be more open to receive womb wisdom and connect with your baby. If you are always on the run and only have the weekends to fill your cup; it’s too little. Your baby longs for your presence. Meditation is a great practice during pregnancy!

Step 4: Journal

It’s so beautiful to journal. Every night before you go to bed you write a little reminder, milestone, memory, quote, inspiration – whatever you feel like. I did this with Luna and it’s so touching to read back. When she is older, I will give it to her. You can also ask your partner to write things in it, so it becomes a ritual for the two of you every day.

Step 5: Take care of your body

Nutrition is one of the biggest ways to take good care of your health and the health of your baby and the placenta. Visiting the (organic, local) markets together with your partner is such a big gift to your baby! Imagine eating a carrot that is grown with love and hand-picked by the farmer or a carrot that travelled the world wrapped in plastic. It’s the energy you nourish yourself with; make sure it’s the best. This all contributes to be more in touch with your feminine energy and taking good care of you.

Step 6: Prepare Birth

You are more in touch with your body, yourself, your partner and the women around you. Preparing for birth is something so nice and will help you to connect with it too. You can buy the smells you love, the food you like, wear the clothes that you feel comfortable and beautiful in. I would also advise you to investigate in how you were born. This will change the way you view birth! And maybe even explains a lot more about the ‘issues’ you bump into life.

I wish you an amazing journey!