Unexpected – A letter from a daughter

by Erica Jago

Myia, the author of this letter, is my best friend’s daughter. Myia’s mom and I grew up together, even shared a house in college up until we found out she was pregnant with Myia. I remember being shocked and quite frankly, angry because I felt robbed of my best friend as she dropped out of school to be a full time mom. At the time, I didn’t see the honorable thing she was doing as a young mother with an unexpected child…

Twenty years later, with Myia about to attend college, a beautiful young woman, contributing to society with a heart of gold, I am astounded at how lucky my best friend was with the unexpected. Children, consciously conceived or not, are a blessing for us all.

Unexpected by Myia Holden

As soon as we are old enough to perceive life as it is, we begin to think about the future. The complexity of these thoughts varies from wondering who we will play with at recess on the first day of school to where we will have our wedding. As humans, we are planners. we think ahead and plot a path that we see best fit for ourselves. The life that we craft in our heads sometimes becomes overpowering and causes us to forget that things do not always go by design. Obstacles are often times thrown at us and cause our plans for life to change.

As I have grown older, my parents have advised me on how they have learned from their life experiences. Although they did not experience the “perfect” planned life, my parents embraced the new path that fate threw their way. The surprise that they faced was one that many relate to irresponsibility, and its name was Myia.

I was conceived roughly three months into a blossoming relationship. Many parents consider all of their options, but mine told me they only ever considered one. They would raise this unexpected child to the best of their ability. Financially and socially, college years are not the ideal time to have a kid, but it was something that they were going to do. My father, twenty-three, was serving in the army while attending college and my twenty-year-old mother was preparing to stay at home with me. 

Neither of my parents knew what the future would hold, but they prepared the best they could. Eventually, my dad graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in engineering and got a job. I was born and one year later, and given the honor to be the flower girl at my parents’ wedding. They are still continuously growing today, as my mom recently graduated from a rigorous interior design program and is building a business, and my dad is working as a successful sales engineer. 

I remember one innocent day in kindergarten. Crayons were moving rapidly and letters were being learned. My classmates and I were chatting about life, and began talking about our parents and family situations. I distinctly recall one of my peers saying, “I was an accident. My mommy and daddy didn’t mean to have me.” I immediately thought to myself, “Well, my mom and dad didn’t mean to have me either. So I guess I’m an accident too.” When I got home that day, I nonchalantly brought up the interaction to my parents. I asked if I was an accident too, just to clarify. My parents seemed rather astounded that any child should believe that they are an “accident”. “An accident? No. That isn’t a good thing, it’s something unfortunate,” my dad explained, “We wouldn’t change a thing. We are very fortunate to have had you.” I was not an accident at all. I was just unexpected.

As a young child, I never fully understood how hard my parents worked to get our family to where we are today. I was oblivious to the fact that they had the option to avoid or completely do away with this unexpected event that invaded their lives, but they did not. I find it empowering that two rather young, but strong people matured together and conquered life. They have lived through almost twenty years of life as one and have ascended mountains of love, hardship and success. I am proud to call these two individuals my parents and aspire to conquer life as they have together.