On rough motherhood: An invitation to let go

by Asha Hossain

Those first few raw weeks of motherhood; I could relive them as if it were yesterday. My baby girl just turned two and still I can feel how it is to be arriving in fresh motherhood every now and then.

This is probably the case because our children are moving, growing, developing faster than we sometimes can imagine. At the same time all the teachings our children and motherhood are giving us are scenarios in a new fresh colorful or maybe not so colorful jacket, but still the same.

The resistance

Every time when I walk into the bedroom to nurse, cuddle, hold my girl either at 3, 12 or 24 months old (and probably way beyond) because she can’t fall asleep without me or she just wants her mama close by, I’m learning that same old lesson. Every time I want a couple of minutes to do the dishes or cook dinner and she wants to be held by just me, I’m asking myself; Why does this annoy me? What is it telling me? And it’s so crystal clear: it’s always the same but expressed in different form – and it will come back until we own that beautiful teaching.

 

An invitation

Motherhood is the fastest way to learn the practice of letting go and surrendering. Because when that pile of laundry is stocking up or you think you needed to finish that email right before you jump into bed and suddenly your child is asking for you, we get the beautiful invitation to LET GO. Even in the most frustrated moments! Why are we rushing to do groceries with our children? Why are we feeling frustrated when they spill their drinks on the floor again or leave a mess behind every step they take, right before we’re leaving the house? Why don’t we give our children the space to explore in their own rhythm and do they have to fit into our schedule? In all these moments of “rough” motherhood we get that invitation to let go of all those things we think we need to make our live better or perfect. Because in the end, it doesn’t. It’s not about what is in our mind, our expectations, our hopes & dreams, it is all about letting go of that picture perfect, and not getting attached to the outcome of what you were doing. It’s really about being here right now.

True ground

Your child needs you and apparently you need your child (to bring you back home). If we can look at those situations through more gentle reflective eyes, you’ll get to see that AND you are able to give your child that trusting ground, from where they can flourish into who they really are, without pouring our “sauce” onto them. And isn’t that what we actually want?